Sometimes, the most important family conversations do not happen around a dining table. They happen thousands of kilometres apart, through a simple WhatsApp call.
Dada had travelled to the United Kingdom to visit his sister, affectionately called Mama. During his stay, a family matter came up—one that had been creating tension in a marriage.
Dada knew Ama Bedu, who lived in Italy, and decided to call her on WhatsApp. What began as an ordinary conversation soon turned into a serious discussion about marriage, temperament, respect and the responsibility of parents when their adult children’s marriages face difficulties.
Mama joined the conversation.
Ama Bedu had a daughter named Akosua Afriyie, who was married. According to the concerns discussed during the call, Akosua had developed an aggressive way of dealing with her husband. Her reactions, words and approach to disagreements were becoming a source of worry.
Mama could have taken the easy path of defending Akosua simply because she was Ama Bedu’s daughter. Instead, she spoke as an elder who wanted the marriage to succeed.
“My daughter,” Mama said to Ama Bedu, “you have to talk to Akosua.”
Ama listened.
Mama explained that marriage inevitably comes with disagreements. Two people raised in different homes cannot agree on everything. But disagreement should never become an excuse for aggression, disrespect or constant confrontation.
She encouraged Ama to advise her daughter to change the way she responded to her husband.
“Marriage needs patience,” Mama continued. “Sometimes you may be right, but the way you present your case can turn a small disagreement into a big problem.”
Dada listened carefully as the two women spoke.
Mama’s message was not that Akosua should tolerate mistreatment or remain silent when something was genuinely wrong. Her point was that strength in marriage should not be confused with aggression. A husband and wife should be able to express themselves without turning every disagreement into a battle.
Ama Bedu began to understand the seriousness of the advice.
As a mother, she naturally loved her daughter and wanted the best for her. But loving an adult child does not mean supporting every behaviour simply because the person is your son or daughter.
Sometimes love requires correction.
Mama therefore encouraged Ama to speak privately with Akosua—not to condemn her, but to help her understand that a successful marriage requires emotional maturity from both husband and wife.
Dada eventually added his voice.
“We shouldn’t wait until the marriage is breaking down before everybody starts talking,” he said. “If we see something that can be corrected today, we should say it with love.”
That statement changed the mood of the WhatsApp conversation.
The three realised that their discussion was bigger than Akosua Afriyie’s marriage. It reflected a challenge found in many families: What should parents do when their married children are behaving badly toward their spouses?
Some parents defend their children automatically.
“My daughter can never do that.”
“My son is not the problem.”
“You married her, so you must accept her.”
But such unconditional defence can sometimes make a difficult situation worse.
A wise parent should be willing to tell a son, “You are wrong. Treat your wife better.”
And that same parent should be willing to tell a daughter, “You are wrong. Treat your husband better.”
Marriage should not become a competition between two families. When relatives interfere only to defend their own side, small misunderstandings can grow into permanent divisions.
Mama’s intervention offered another approach: support the marriage by supporting what is right, not simply who is related to you.
Before the WhatsApp conversation ended, Ama Bedu agreed that she would speak with Akosua Afriyie and encourage her to reconsider her aggressive behaviour toward her husband.
The conversation between Dada in the United Kingdom, Mama beside him, and Ama Bedu in Italy demonstrated something powerful.
Distance does not prevent a family from offering wisdom.
More importantly, genuine love is not always expressed by saying, “You are right.”
Sometimes genuine love says:
“My daughter, I love you, but this behaviour must change.”
Because when elders correct with wisdom, when parents refuse to take sides blindly, and when couples learn to replace aggression with respectful communication, a family may resolve today what could otherwise become tomorrow’s broken marriage.
Moment of Wisdom
Marriage does not need relatives who take sides. It needs families courageous enough to stand on the side of peace, respect and truth.
Moment of Wisdom — Time for Wisdom.
